剑桥雅思作文

?剑桥雅思作文：
　　Childrens education has long been our concern since Plato once uttered, “Education is where a country should start at.” However, it is still a controversial issue after all these years among people who are particularly concerned about it. Some people believe that it is parents responsibility to cultivate their kids to be fully aware of what a social being should look like; others, whereas, argue that schools should take over this for the ultimate goal. In this essay, I would put this issue in question and further analyse both sides before presenting my personal perspective.

　　On one hand, parents, as the first touchers of their kids, should tell them how to differentiate right from wrong. Given the time parents spend with their kids, they can be more likely to observe everyday change of their children. As a result of this, they are accountable for how their children normally behave in reality. More importantly, considering the fact that people according to their social being are usually placed into diverse norms, parents, as a family, as a part of community and as individuals in the society, should appropriately behave in action so as to deliver a message to their kids in which what should be respected and cherished in lives is highly highlighted.

　　On the other hand, academic institutions should take the responsibility for educating students to be entirely ready to enter the society. After leaving parents for schools, kids almost devote their most prime time at schools with their peels, their friends and their teachers; therefore, schools ought to put much emphasis on their growth as a person. Consequently, students could learn what they cannot acquire from home, such as communicative skills, understanding of various cultures etc.

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　　剑桥真题里就有考官范文，在model and sample answers for writing tasks目录下。如果需要剑桥雅思1-8的真题pdf 留个邮箱 我发给你

　　The data shows the differences between developing and industrialised countries’

　　participation in education and science.

　　In terms of the number of years of schooling received, we see that the length of time

　　people spend at school in industrialised countries was much greater at 8.5 years in

　　1980, compared to 2.5 years in developing countries. The gap was increased further in

　　1990 when the figures rose to 10.5 years and 3.5 years respectively.

　　We can see a similar pattern in the second graph, which shows that the number of

　　people working as scientists and technicians in industrialised countries increased from

　　55 to 85 per 1,000 people between 1980 and 1990, while the number in developing

　　countries went from 12 to 20.

　　Finally, the figures for spending on research and development show that industrialised

　　countries more than doubled their spending, from $200bn to $420bn, whereas

　　developing countries actually decreased theirs, from $75bn down to $25bn.

　　Overall we can see that not only are there very large differences between the two

　　economies but that these gaps are widening.

　　the data shows the differences between developing and industrialised countries’ participation in education and science. in terms of the number of years of schooling received, we see that the length of time people spend at school in industrialised countries was much greater at 8.5 years in 1980, compared to 2.5 years in developing countries. the gap was increased further in 1990 when the figures rose to 10.5 years and 3.5 years respectively. we can see a similar pattern in the second graph, which shows that the number of people working as scientists and technicians in industrialised countries increased from 55 to 85 per 1,000 people between 1980 and 1990, while the numrber in developing countries went from 12 to 20. finally, the figures for spending on research and development show that industrialised countries more than double their spending, from$200bn to $420bn, whereas developing countries actually decreased theirs, from $75bn down to $25bn. overall we can see that not only are there very large differences between the two economies but that these gaps are widening.

　　因为我并非教育界人士，所以无法给你评分，但可以替你更正文章的错漏，希望会对你有所帮助。

　　Some people think that increasing business and

　　cultural contacts have a positive influence, and others think that it has a negative

　　effect to national identities. What is your opinion

　　正文:

　　I would admit (要加that) the contact between different

　　countries have risen rapidly, and whether it (加is) a good news for our(是us) human beings is

　　under discussion for it is really a complicated and significant problem in the coming

　　wave of globalization.

　　With the trend of frequently connect to each

　　other, the world exposed (a quiet应该是: quite a) new atmosphere for business or cultural development.

　　In this condition, countries show their own advantages and endeavor to make more

　　profits. As a result, (去掉a) work can be separate into small pieces(改为lots会更好, for example, we

　　will found a computer which (the) keyboard is是(was) made in China,

　　screen is(是was) made in Japan and with its Germany battery.

　　Without doubt, globalization seems play(是playing) a remarkable

　　role in the culture evolution, although we recognize that different nations possess

　　its(是their) particular culture(s), which anthropologists indicated “local knowledge”, we could

　　not deny (加that) it gives the harsh impacts to those developing countries.

　　The acculturation among countries and nations

　　may lead the (develop of cultural 应该是: development of culture 或 cultural development) into a new degree which (加would) board(是boarden) the understanding

　　of human, society and nature, and those views in special aspects other than domestic

　　scholars or even totally opposite theories make great controversies in scholars

　　is better to enrich the knowledge.

　　One big point we should not neglect is that

　　the unequal position between developed countries and developing counties, as I have

　　concerned, globalization definitely a harsh impact, which meant they should make

　　a proper balance in learning from others and inherent (加their) own traditions. Therefore

　　the national identities seem less referred, and what’s more, people are willing

　　to accept modern civilization and feel shame about our(改为their own) culture. Such as todays

　　China, a lot of teenagers abandoned those 5,000 years history and culture carelessly.

　　We are not living in a(an) isolated island and

　　theres no chance go(going) back into(要改为: to) thousand years ago when people just live in one

　　place (all 要改为: their entire) lifespan. After all, when facing (加with) the positive (changes benefits 要改为: benefit of changes) from the

　　intimate(intimately) associated with other communities worldwide, we wont forget our nationality and heritage from the(our) ancestors.

　　应该能得5.5左右。原因：1. 个人观点不明晰。只是在论述过程中体现了自己的一些论调。2. 论据不充分。没有具体地解释产生自己观点的原因。3. 汉语思维严重。4. 语法错误和词句运用错误严重。5. 分段不合理。通常雅思大作文分四段。

　　希望帮您

　　说实话，一看就是模板，好像还是十天里的，我想说如果你想拿6分或者更高，最好不要用模板，这是一个高手教我的，我让她给改了几篇文章，她提醒了我这一点，最后我改过来了，总算作文过了呵呵。

　　模板意味不能太浓，不然有些考官很反感的，就算你的句子还好，估计也拿不到6分，我没那么厉害，光从第一段是评不出你的水平的，但是我看到你的第一段我觉得是低于6分的，因为你用的是模板，词汇也不是很高级，所以～～～～～

　　个人觉得作文首先结构要清晰，这个你可以参考十天，我的意思是你可以按他的结构先写双方观点再提出自己观点，但是不要用那些句子，也就是在大结构确定的情况下你可以用不同的思路或者说小结构写你的文章，而且很多高手第一段也就是背景段是写的很长的，完全不是10天所谓1+1+2+1这种，当然前提是你的大思路大框架不能散，你的构架必须是逻辑性很强，很严密的。